Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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