He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
