that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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