my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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