If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
