So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
