He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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