You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
