Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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