i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
