What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she peed on how many people?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm just crazy horny about you
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
