I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
