He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
