it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
