Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wear drunk well.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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