I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
