he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
