Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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