sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
two words...techno handjob
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm both gender and math confused
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
