Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
