Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
