the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
