3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
