Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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