DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
