My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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