Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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