I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
