I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we made out on top of his cat.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
