Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
