THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
