I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
