I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
