i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
