at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
