I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
