I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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