She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
