I look better un-naked...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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