It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
