Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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