I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
