remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
