Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
