I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
