I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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