Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
