i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You don't make any sense
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