Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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