Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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