I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize