I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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