; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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